Now, as a disclaimer, my heart goes out to those affected by the hurricanes. I am extremely sensitive and by no means am I poking fun or degrading the devastation of the floods that have happened and the lives that have been lost. I am referring to God’s promise, that He would never flood the entire earth again and swipe out all living things by water, Genesis 9:11.
DNT Weather Report:
“The earth is officially flooding!”, Lee False, a trusted meteorologist reports for DNT, (Definitely Not True)’s daily weather report.
“A little bit each day. By next week, we’ll all be fish!” Lee False jokes.
3 Days Later
“Did you hear about the news?” Flaky Fiona says as she enter the lounge for church volunteers.
“Yeah, maybe God isn’t all that trustworthy after all.” Maybe Max responds, grabbing the coffee pot to pour him a cup.
“My thoughts exactly! I mean, I didn’t think it was true after rereading Genesis 9:11, but then when I started seeing water, that changed things.” Flaky Fiona says in exasperation.
“Changed things”? You’re sounding like the children of Israel. Every time something contrary to God comes up, you go running!” Confident Connor says, entering the lounge to make copies for the upcoming event.
“Oh Connor give us a break! Maybe we need to reconsider all this stuff we’re preaching. Maybe it’s all “Hallucinogenic Hallelujahs.” Maybe Max responds, as he plops nine cubes of sugar into his coffee and 11 creamers.
“Yeah, for you probably. I’d be hallucinogenic too, if I ingested that much sugar!” Confident Connor counters.
“Hallucinogenic? You all know that is a serious condition that many people suffer from. It shouldn’t be the focal point of jokes, guys. Not cool.” Surely Shirley says, as she comes in looking for pens and markers for the kids.
“You’re right. But we were originally talking about the flood. That’s how hallucinations came up. Max and I wonder if The Bible is just that.” Flaky Fiona says.
“What flood?” Surely Shirley asks.
“Uh, the flood going outside this building! The water you had to wade through to get in here!” Maybe Max says.
“I saw water and I felt it too, but I don’t believe it.” Surely Shirley says to which Flaky Fiona and Maybe Max’s eyes go triple in size.
“Someone with some sense is here!” Confident Connor exclaims.
“You two are crazy!” Flaky Fiona says.
“No, what is crazy is God sending his only son to die for you and then you turning around is questioning Him. That’s insanity.” Surely Shirley counters.
“2 Corinthians 5:7, walk by faith and not by sight, was not put in the bible as filler of space. You two-” Connor adds before he is interrupted by DNT.
DNT Weather Report (Goof):
“The earth is NOT officially flooding!”, Lee False reports.
“A malfunction in the city’s water supplies caused the flooding. By next week, we should see dry land.”
“Now, my God just parted the Red Sea for me!” Surely Shirley says.
“No, my God parted the Rea Sea for me, you’re just blessed to be near me.” Confident Connor says.
“Do you have the copies we need?” Surely Shirley asks.
“Do you have the markers we need?” Confident Connor counters as he and Surely exit with laughs as they return to their tasks.
“Maybe, God-” Maybe Max starts before Flaky Fiona raises her hands and cuts him.
“Don’t start. Maybe you need to read your bible more!” Flaky Fiona says.
“Hey, and you don’t?! You were agreeing with me!”
“Yes, I was. Shirley and Connor really made me think. They were so sure and confident of what God said. We should definitely listen.” Flaky Fiona says.
“Yeah, maybe.” Max says launching his empty coffee cup into the trashcan, before leaving.
Hopefully, you got a laugh (and a lesson) out of that! Couple things I want to mention…
Shirley is a sure believer because she is secure in God’s promises.
Connor is a confident believer because he has seen God work in his life.
Fiona is a flaky believer, because she will believe God’s word until the next contradiction comes.
Max is a skeptical believer because he needs lives by proof.